The last few weeks we’ve been looking at how we can be better husbands and one of the key verses is 1 Peter 3:7 which reads:

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

That phrase of “understanding way” means to really pursue her with a desire to know her very well. What are her needs? What are her likes and dislikes? What is her personality? What are her strengths and weaknesses? What is her love language?

In terms of needs the study shared that there are four main areas of need that most women have:

1. Security. Feeling safe and protected financially and relationally. They feel safe with you.
2. Conversational companionship. Experiencing each other and life together. Talking and building relationship and sharing heart and feelings.
3. Significance. She is valued and important and esteemed. An equal “heir with you of the grace of life.”
4. Affection. Treasuring her with hugs (non-sexual), compliments, notes, saying “I love you.”

Ok, guys, here is an assignment for you… (This is the same assignment assigned to us in the Bible Study) … Set a date night with your wife and ask her about her needs. Do the above needs match her greatest needs? If not, what would she add? What is most important to her? And finally, ask her if there are ways that you could improve in meeting her biggest needs. If you do this kind of thing and do it regularly you are on your way to “living with your wife in an understanding way.”

One final thing, are you in a small group or discipleship relationship of some kind? If not you need to get yourself into one. God’s design is for his body to grow together and not in isolation. If you are serious about your personal sanctification then you are serious about the Body of Christ, the church.

In the same vein, I would propose a set of good things in a package of three for us at Blue Ridge as well—a rule of three for everyone who is a part of our body. We have so many excellent programs and opportunities in our church for a person to participate in to aid their growth in Christ. How does one choose? With September just around the corner, and all of the new beginnings that happen in that month, it can be difficult to decide what you will be a part of, and what you will not. I‘d like to propose three fundamental areas we could all be a part of when it comes to the church.

The first of the three is Sunday morning worship. We ought to make our corporate time together a priority in that we set aside Sunday mornings and participate in some way—from teaching, to helping children, to ushering and greeting, to assisting adult teachers, to helping in worship, or to cleaning up! This is the only time during the week when we are all gathered together as a large body and get a little taste of heaven in our worship en masse! Keeping this as a priority can be one of the easiest, as most of us usually don‘t have to work or schedule other things.

The second ministry of the three that we ought to be a part of is a little different. It‘s not so much a program here, but rather a setting aside the time for the building of relationships with non-believers. This does not necessarily have us spending time at the church, but rather is a time that we purpose to find a way to engage with people who do not go to church, and do not know the Savior. Ask most people who have come to Christ, (including most of our own experiences), and you‘ll find that people are not persuaded into the kingdom by circumstances and knowledge as much as they are won over by the love of a person who took an interest in them and led them to Jesus Christ. The leadership at Blue Ridge wants you to be “freed up” to find time to cultivate relationships with those who need Jesus Christ.

So if we are uniting together on Sunday mornings, and we are finding time to build relationships with the lost, what‘s the third thing? That‘s why I‘m writing—and that is that we would be a part of a small group.

Small groups allow us to go deeper in fellowship than we can encounter on Sunday mornings corporately. It is a time in which we can find a greater level of encouragement, as well as a time of getting to use our spiritual gifts for edifying others! It‘s the model that we see in the early church in the book of Acts, and it‘s wonderful! Here you can really become built up to know Christ more, to love one another more, and to help one another more. In short, small groups allow for a greater depth of love, encouragement, exhortation, and discipleship with one another.

This fall, they are starting up again—new groups and new topics! Beginning in September, we will be encouraging you to examine the different groups and to begin prayerfully seeking one that is near you and that can both minister to you, as well as to afford you the opportunity to minister to others. Each group will have the goal to equip you “for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ.” (Eph. 4:12) Here we hope to help each person grow in their commitment to Christ, sharpen them to be more competent to serve Him better, and enable them to bring in their creative skills and apply them!

So what do you think? Sunday morning church, spending time with non-believers, and a small group on one evening a week. Great things still come in threes!